Angelina Jolie Visits Kenyan School Only to Walk Out Adopting Half the Children

Infamous couple, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently took their six multicultural children on an African safari in the blazing Serengeti of Kenya. While the children were basking in the sun and enjoying the unique sights of all the African animals, Angelina was especially intrigued with the local School Houses on sight. Although this trip was originally planned as a “family” vacation, Angelina spent most of her time with the impoverished children, even going as far as sneaking children into her hotel suite.

 The highlight of the trip was their last day spent in Kenya. Angelina brought her family over to the school she had been spending the most time at. Brad thought this was a great idea stating, “I love giving my kids the opportunity to interact with children from other cultures who aren’t as fortunate as them. I think this is something I hope every parent should be able to offer to their children.”

 

 Everything was going swimmingly until on the plane ride home, Brad and Angelina realized the mistake that they had made. The couple had accidentally brought home the wrong children. The pair stated that “The children all look almost identical, and it could have happened to anybody!”

Although the mistake was corrected and Angelina and Brad’s children were returned to them safely, Angelina could not bare to return the Kenyan children she had mistakenly took with her. She ended up adopting the three children she had mistaken for her own. They are now a happy family of eleven. J

First Satire Post

On Thursday, December 8^th, Vancouver was hit with a massive blizzard, cars were blown off of roads, the Lions Gate Bridge was closed, and children were outraged that they had to miss another day of school.

Sam was so excited about this Thursday. He not only had one but three tests that day! Sam was most excited about the math test which he had studied weeks for. He was so eager to get to school early this Thursday that he set his alarm 20 minutes earlier than he had to. At 6:15am he woke up and looked out his window Sam couldn’t see anything but a sheet of white. He was horrified, how will I get to school? How will I write my tests? Sam knew there was no way he would miss school for this! So he dressed in his uniform and pulled out the winter jacket he hasn’t had to use for 3 years. He was almost out of the door when his mother crawled out of her room in her nightgown and said, “Sam, what are you doing? The school is closed, go back to bed.” “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” There have been reports of Sam’s screams being heard all the way from Seattle.

Sam was furious! He did not want to miss this Thursday, of any Thursday that a snow day could have landed on, why this Thursday? Why this one when Sam had the best day ever ahead of him?! Sam didn’t know what to do, of course he would never use this snow day as extra study time.  So he sat in the middle of his kitchen staring at the snow, eager for it to melt so he could return to his normal daily schedule.

When the snow finally melted, the students decided these snow days were unacceptable and petitioned for extra class time on Saturday to make up for the wasted time of the snow day.